Embracing the Waves: John Chartier's Story of Survival and Purpose

Episode Summary

In this episode of the Courage Wolf podcast, host Terry Oliver interviews John Chartier, who became a quadriplegic after a freak accident in 2013. John recounts the incident, the ensuing challenges in a corrupt medical system, and his subsequent recovery, including another major health scare in 2010 involving congenital heart failure. The podcast delves into John's struggle with self-doubt, his intense therapy regimen, his support system, and his newfound purpose in life, helping others with spinal cord injuries. He also discusses writing his memoir, 'Embracing the Waves,' and shares how telling his story has been therapeutic. John highlights the importance of a positive attitude and gratitude in overcoming adversity and finding joy in life. The episode underscores the power of storytelling in healing and building a supportive community.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Terry Oliver: My guest on the Courage Wolf podcast this week is John Chartier. John heard about the podcast through another guest and reached out to me so that we could tell his story. John became a quadriplegic after being struck from behind by a large wave on the 27th of March, 2013, while on vacation in the Bahamas.

Keep listening to find out how John almost died as the result of a corrupt medical system and how after years of therapy, John finally found his purpose in life.

[00:00:35] John Chartier: When something like this happens where it just seems like your identity is totally gone, self-doubt really starts to creep in, and it just made me feel worthless and unlovable. My doctor told me that if you work hard and have a good attitude, you never know what might happen.

[00:00:59] Terry Oliver: [00:01:00] Welcome to the Courage Wolf Podcast, where we share with you powerful stories of courage and inspiration to help you live a successful life of courage and freedom.

We'll speak with people from all walks of life. Who have overcome challenges and struggles while bringing to light the solutions and inspiration they found to help take back control of their lives. Now, please welcome the host of the Courage Wolf podcast, Terry Oliver.

John Chartier is a man that doesn't give up easily. John became a quadriplegic after a freak accident that left him paralyzed from the neck down. Stay tuned to find out how John regained some mobility to the point where he is what he describes as a walking quadriplegic. A guest on one of our recent podcasts spoke about the importance of having insurance when traveling out of country, and this makes perfect sense.

John and his wife Rhonda, were in The [00:02:00] Bahamas when the accident that changed his life happened. John and Rhonda had insurance that apparently didn't matter. Cash mattered. Nothing else, just cash. Hello, my friend. Welcome to the Courage Wolf podcast. I wanna thank you for reaching out to me and talking to me about what you've gone through and what led you to us to tell your story.

[00:02:20] John Chartier: Thank you, Terry, for having me. I'm just happy to do this for a Canadian brother and anyone else who's listening. You do have listeners, right?

[00:02:30] Terry Oliver: We got a few. We've even got a few down the states too.

[00:02:34] John Chartier: Fantastic.

[00:02:34] Terry Oliver: That's great. Well, thanks for coming on. And John, I want to confirm that your wife, Rhonda, has agreed to do a separate podcast of her own, and which we'll talk about how a life-changing event like this changes everyone, not just the person that it happens to.

[00:02:47] John Chartier: Yes, she's agreed, and I wholeheartedly believe those statements because I've witnessed all of that firsthand.

[00:02:53] Terry Oliver: I'm looking forward to talking with Rhonda and hearing about how this has affected her and your family as well. John, how old are you now? [00:03:00]

[00:03:00] John Chartier: I don't know how it happened, but one minute in, in blink.

I'm 59.

[00:03:07] Terry Oliver: I hear you. I'm still 16 mentally, but I'm 65 physically now. Can I ask you how you found us and why you decided to tell your story on the podcast?

[00:03:14] John Chartier: Well, as you know, Terry, I'm finishing my book and I was actually looking for some publishing insight. A friend of mine told me he was reading this book written by a friend of his, and he said that author would probably give her insight to me.

He put me in contact with her, and I would say her help has just been invaluable. You know, we've been talking about many aspects of publishing and marketing. You've actually had her on a podcast. Her name's Penny Castleman. That's

[00:03:42] Terry Oliver: great.

[00:03:43] John Chartier: I listened to her podcast. I was so inspired. I then listened to all of them that you had on there.

[00:03:49] Terry Oliver: Oh, that's fantastic.

[00:03:50] John Chartier: Well, it was then that I knew my story needed to be told on your podcast. That's why I reached out to you.

[00:03:56] Terry Oliver: I appreciate you reaching out to us, and I'm glad that you were able to come to us by way [00:04:00] of Penny. Penny was a great guest on the show, and actually Penny just sent me a copy of her book and some coffee from Cleveland.

Now, before we get to the incident that changed your life forever, yet another life changing event that happened in 2010, didn't you?

[00:04:14] John Chartier: I did. I won't get into the long details of it. I was diagnosed with bronchitis in May of 2010, and as it turned out, it wasn't bronchitis at all. What it really turned out to be was congenital heart failure.

Oh, it stemmed from a malformed aortic heart valve. So I had been living with this my whole entire life. I had no idea. One hospital that first diagnosed me, uh, it was pretty serious. So they sent me to the Cleveland Clinic. Where other doctors evaluated me and they were actually talking about possibly a heart transplant,

[00:04:50] Terry Oliver: really,

[00:04:50] John Chartier: we ended up doing open heart surgery where they replaced the aortic valve, and I spent 17 days in those two different hospitals.

And then the process, [00:05:00] I was off work for seven months recuperating due to the fact that my heart was only working at 17%. My initial doctor said it was bronchitis. We believed it wasn't until things went downhill quickly where I couldn't breathe. When I went lie down the one night, I wound up in a emergency room and they kept treating me for the bronchitis, which, uh.

I told them about my feet had been swollen. Just the night before. And right then everything changed. They went a different route. They started looking at different things and said I had a heart murmur. And that's how they really found it.

[00:05:36] Terry Oliver: Thanks for sharing that with us. And what I wanna do now is I wanna explore the other life changing event.

And on the 27th of March, 2013, you and your wife, Rhonda, and your two lifelong friends, Ron And Hope isn't. You guys were on a cruise in The Bahamas in Naau. Why did you go on that cruise and what were you celebrating?

[00:05:56] John Chartier: We were celebrating our 30 year anniversary.

[00:05:59] Terry Oliver: Nice.

[00:05:59] John Chartier: [00:06:00] And we wanted it to be something special.

Our friends Ron and Hope Morrison, they had suggested to us a cruise. Rhonda. I had never been on a cruise, but the fact that we often vacationed together, we thought this was a great idea that we would do this cruise.

[00:06:16] Terry Oliver: Can you tell us what happened to you on that day, please?

[00:06:19] John Chartier: We were all excited. You know, we were leaving snowy, cold Ohio, or warm weather and sunshine Got on a cruise ship and my story really begins on the second day that morning in Nassau, in The Bahamas.

As a group, we decided our excursion for the day would be just to go to a beach. Hang out at a beach, just relax. Well, the beach, uh, that we decided on, it's called Cabbage Beach, and then our wives decided they, you know, wanted to just sunbathe and read a book. Mm-hmm. I like to be active. Uh, you know, I always have.

My friend Ron and I, we decided we'd go swimming. This day there were some really [00:07:00] rolling waves, which is fun when you're in the ocean and, uh, the water's warm and just beautiful. We were swimming for quite a while and I decided I had had enough and my friend Ron swam out a little further. I started walking back in towards the beach where our wives were sitting, and I got to about waist high to Kneehigh water.

When I was overcome by a large wave, it just overtook me.

[00:07:25] Terry Oliver: That hit you from behind?

[00:07:26] John Chartier: It did took me right off of my feet. I plunged through the water and face planted into the bottom of the ocean because it hit me so hard. Mm-hmm. The pressing of the wave then caught my leg and snapped it over my head. Ugh, your body doesn't bend that way.

I heard this big crunch sound, and then there was like this explosion of specks of light in my eyelids. It took me a, a moment to really gain the understanding of what just happened. My mind started to tell my body stand up, but there was no [00:08:00] movement.

[00:08:00] Terry Oliver: And so you knew what had happened at that point.

[00:08:02] John Chartier: I did.

Paralysis came right to my mind. I opened my eyes in the water. There were tropical fish that I could see. There was like beams of light that came through the ocean, and it just was such a surreal moment. I was holding my breath. There been a couple of waves that hit me again and I scraped off the bottom of the ocean, floated back up to the top, and this happened a few times and I got to this point where I knew I was running low on air.

Yes, I started to actually pray that someone would find. When your mind is racing like that you don't really understand time-wise. Mm-hmm. I knew enough that I was praying for that to happen, and it didn't happen. It was just the oddest feeling where your brain is saying, this is how I die. This is the day I die.

Mm-hmm. Yes. Then I started thinking about drowning. In [00:09:00] my mind, drowning would be something very, very horrible, where you're gasping for error and then you're choking on water. I just wanted to end my life right away. I didn't wanna suffer, so my mind kept saying, just suck in as much water as possible.

And just end it. End it really quickly. But my body didn't do it. It just wouldn't do it.

[00:09:21] Terry Oliver: Your survival instinct kicked

[00:09:23] John Chartier: in? I think so. So at that moment, you know, I'm thinking I'm going to black out and that's gonna be it. Right at that moment. My body is now hovering above the ocean water. I didn't feel anyone lifting me, but I could see down.

I could see legs, so I knew I was being lifted out of the water, not having the feeling comes from the paralysis. I could feel my head and face. My face was all scraped up. It was pretty bloodied from the bottom of the ocean, right? Then I had heard my friend Ron say, John, what is the matter? Are you okay?

It was him [00:10:00] and three young men. It pulled me out of the water and brought me up onto the beach. Emergency Services were called. I was very, very fortunate that there was a, a doctor on the beach at the time. Because he was ordering people to do certain things as they were going to flip me around.

He'd held my head. I lie there on the beach, it seemed like 30 to 45 minutes before the EMS finally showed up. They had put a neck brace on me, uh, loaded me onto a stretcher and, uh, transported me to a local hospital.

[00:10:32] Terry Oliver: And what happened at the hospital when you got there?

[00:10:35] John Chartier: I was given an IV and then nothing.

They left me on a gurney in a hallway, and at that point Rhonda was already working with intake. They had asked for insurance and we believe possibly knowing that we were from the United States. They wouldn't accept our insurance and it was at that point they demanded cash.

[00:10:55] Terry Oliver: How much did they demand?

[00:10:56] John Chartier: It was $10,000.

[00:10:58] Terry Oliver: What happened after that?

[00:10:59] John Chartier: They wouldn't do [00:11:00] nothing more without the cash. Rhonda scrambled, making phone calls to get money wired. There is so much to the story. We could probably sit here for hours and hours. I will keep some of those brief. Okay. Rhonda also called the US Embassy to find out how to get us back to the United States, and they gave her a list of life flight companies and she had no idea how to choose the best life flight. To take you somewhere? I wouldn't

[00:11:27] Terry Oliver: think anybody would have experience in that. Yes.

[00:11:29] John Chartier: She actually chose one because it had her grandmother's first name. Really? It was called Fly Riva. So Rhonda chose that.

She made the call. They offered to take me to Miami for $10,000. Suggesting that I choose a hospital there, but none of them had any openings that would accept my level of injury. So hearing that news, we knew that there was no question about hospitals for us. I needed to get to the Cleveland Clinic back in Ohio.

We [00:12:00] knew what a fantastic hospital this is.

[00:12:02] Terry Oliver: And the Cleveland Clinic had the level of care that you needed.

[00:12:05] John Chartier: The problem, they didn't have a bed available. Transport, life flight. They will not take you unless there is a bed open to where you want to go. This had to be coordinated between the hospital and a life, life flight company.

We met with the doctor who came to see us and he spoke with Rhonda and I, he told us about the severity of my injury and said that I needed immediate surgery. The neurosurgeon actually told my wife to Google him. He was saying, I know you don't know me. You'll see that I've done a few thousand of these surgeries.

You'll see that I'm competent enough to do this. That's pretty amazing. So Rhonda talked about the money we had now, the experience with the hospital and life flight. He reassured her not to worry that he would fight our insurance company if need be, and it was right at that moment. He brought some levity when he laughed and he, and he said, you [00:13:00] probably can't afford me anyway.

[00:13:01] Terry Oliver: Really?

[00:13:02] John Chartier: For me, it was exactly what I needed to hear. I needed some humor because this was pretty traumatic. Mm-hmm. We talked with him about our plans to get to the Cleveland Clinic and he said he understood, but he also said that it would be bad medicine. Not to stabilize me to make that long trip, but that could have serious consequences.

Yes. And then we decided to have the surgery run and called him and said, yes, we want to do the surgery. And I think it was around 12:30 AM which would be now the next day that I had surgery. He went in and he fused vertebrae C3, four and five, which he went through the front side of my neck to do that surgery.

[00:13:45] Terry Oliver: And obviously the surgery was successful to the point where it could get you back to the Cleveland Clinic without further endangering your life.

[00:13:52] John Chartier: Yes.

[00:13:53] Terry Oliver: Now, did you mention one of our conversations that you never got a bill from this doctor?

[00:13:57] John Chartier: That is correct. Not one Bill [00:14:00] Terry. He was a man of his word. His name is Dr.

Magnus Eiti. First and foremost, he was an amazing human being. He showed such compassion for me. For us. He was actually a neurosurgeon that had practiced on the island of Nassau, but he wasn't a part of that hospital. I think it's really important to know that he was brought in to assess my injuries only after Rhonda had secured the $10,000 for the hospital.

[00:14:29] Terry Oliver: Okay?

[00:14:30] John Chartier: A few years later, I found out that he was the lead surgeon in the first ever separation conjoined, parasitic twins in the c.

[00:14:40] Terry Oliver: Really. So he was who he said he was. And, and you couldn't afford him, nor could most people.

[00:14:45] John Chartier: Exactly.

[00:14:46] Terry Oliver: I'm glad you mentioned that, because I think that's one of the few good news things that came out of the hospital, stay in The Bahamas.

What happened next while you were in that hospital?

[00:14:55] John Chartier: When I awoke from the surgery, I, I had this raging fever. [00:15:00] And there was a nurse sitting next to my bed. She was suctioning my throat. I had lost the ability to swallow and I could choke. So she was sitting there, suctioning my throat every 10 minutes, 15 minutes.

They decided to combat my fever by turning up the air conditioning to make it really cold in the ICU room. Now, mind you, my wife is still in a bathing suit. With just a hooded sweatshirt that hope had given her. Then it was around 9:00 AM that hospital administrator from the day before she came into the room and then she started asking us for more money.

And that amount was $20,000.

[00:15:40] Terry Oliver: $20,000 more on top of the 10,000 that you'd already paid?

[00:15:44] John Chartier: Yes. And that was just for the hospital,

[00:15:46] Terry Oliver: and you had insurance at that point, didn't you?

[00:15:48] John Chartier: Yes.

[00:15:49] Terry Oliver: And they wouldn't accept it?

[00:15:50] John Chartier: No. Which was shocking because in the United States our insurance was very good. Right. I had no idea something like this could ever [00:16:00] happen.

[00:16:00] Terry Oliver: What did you guys tell them when they asked for more money?

[00:16:02] John Chartier: Well, Rhonda and I had talked about it before surgery, that we would just tell them that you would need to bill us, that we didn't have anymore to give. And that's exactly what Rhonda had said. It's important to know that at that point we were also thinking about the fact of the life flight that was $20,000 upfront.

Mm-hmm. That we found out to fly from The Bahamas to the Cleveland Clinic.

[00:16:26] Terry Oliver: What happened when they found out that you couldn't come up with any more money?

[00:16:30] John Chartier: Interesting. You asked because that administrator's demeanor absolutely changed. When we refused, refused, she told the nurse that was sitting next to me suctioning my throat to hand my wife the device and leave the room amazing.

Rhonda had no instruction at all. The woman handed her the device and they both left the room. I am so fortunate that my wife figured it out.

[00:16:56] Terry Oliver: Yes,

[00:16:56] John Chartier: and then the administrator returned a while later. To [00:17:00] tell Rhonda that she would need to leave the hospital by 9:00 PM

[00:17:03] Terry Oliver: or what would happen.

[00:17:04] John Chartier: Rhonda had begged the woman, you know, not to let this happen.

Rhonda said, you know, you let me stay the night before. They said it was hospital policy. Rhonda said I would die if she left me. Mm-hmm. And then Rhonda told this woman that she would not leave good for her. So the woman then told Rhonda she would be removed by police.

[00:17:24] Terry Oliver: And if that would've happened, you would've had no care at all and you most likely would've died.

Correct?

[00:17:29] John Chartier: I totally believe that. We were really praying that a bed would open at the Cleveland Clinic, so the life flight would come through for us.

[00:17:37] Terry Oliver: And it didn't it? Just in time.

[00:17:39] John Chartier: Yeah. Well, we waited all day. Rhonda suctioning my throat. And then right around 7:30 PM Rhonda received the call. Mm-hmm.

That a bed was waiting for me, but the life flight company said that they couldn't get me until later in the evening. Okay. They talked about 11 30, 12 o'clock. So we were really worried. [00:18:00] That Rhonda would be removed. Yes. You know, like we said, it didn't happen. The transport did show up, which then took us to an airport that was about a half an hour drive, and they took us to this little tiny jet.

When we pulled up to that jet and they were going to unload me and put me in the jet, it was like this huge sigh of relief, that we felt like we were free. Ron and Hope had to get back on the cruise ship. They got our passports. Had they have not done that, we would not have gotten out of the country.

They had the presence of mine. That was incredible.

[00:18:35] Terry Oliver: Good for them. What hospital did you end up at in Cleveland?

[00:18:38] John Chartier: We went to the Cleveland Clinic.

[00:18:40] Terry Oliver: And you were told you needed more surgery?

[00:18:42] John Chartier: Yes, I was evaluated by more doctors there at the Cleveland Clinic, and it was determined that what was done in The Bahamas was great.

They wanted to stabilize my neck more by fusing an extra vertebrae. So this time the surgeon went through the back of my neck and he [00:19:00] fused C3 four, five, and six. Now I'm fused on both sides of my neck with different types of hardware. I wish I could show you the x-rays because I think it's really quite extraordinary.

So I spent a week there. And I was heavily sedated the whole time.

[00:19:16] Terry Oliver: And where did you go from there?

[00:19:17] John Chartier: A hospital called Metro Health, and they have a spinal cord rehabilitation portion.

[00:19:22] Terry Oliver: John, how long were you in therapy for

[00:19:24] John Chartier: at Metro Health? I was there for three months. I did therapy three and a half to four and a half hours a day, five days a week.

And when I had left there, I went to a post-acute rehab facility where I had two hours of therapy a day, six days a week, and I was there seven and a half months. When I went home, I went to outpatient therapy also two hours a day, two to three days a week for two years.

[00:19:50] Terry Oliver: John, you told me in one of the conversations that we had that you were in a really dark place at some point in your recovery, weren't you?

[00:19:57] John Chartier: Terry, I have to tell you, when something like this [00:20:00] happened where it just seems like your identity is totally gone, self doubt. Starts to creep in. In my mind, it just wouldn't shut down and it just made me feel worthless and unlovable. You fall into that.

[00:20:14] Terry Oliver: John, can you tell our listeners how you managed to get yourself out of that place?

[00:20:18] John Chartier: Well, I don't think it would've been possible without Rhonda about my children. Both mine and Rhonda's family were there for us and Ron and Hope Morrison. They miss one day of visiting me in 11 months.

[00:20:33] Terry Oliver: Oh, that's amazing.

[00:20:33] John Chartier: And I think we still need to have that conversation about that one day. There was incredible staff, the nurses, the doctors, the therapists, our amazing friends from all over Ohio and New Jersey and Michigan.

We were inundated with visits. We even had a friend of ours from Michigan on my birthday. Larry and Renee Smith that drove five and a half hours [00:21:00] just to give me a German chocolate cake.

[00:21:03] Terry Oliver: That's pretty

[00:21:03] John Chartier: amazing. Which is one of my favorite, only to turn around an hour later to have to be back in Michigan for another appointment.

[00:21:13] Terry Oliver: That's very nice.

[00:21:14] John Chartier: Another point I'd like to add was I think what really helped was my attitude. Mm-hmm. Because every one of these individuals, Terry, were. They were trying to help me and I had to understand that in order to change my attitude, just to help myself through that, to get out of that.

[00:21:31] Terry Oliver: Now, before the incident happened, would you say that you had a pretty positive attitude to begin with?

[00:21:37] John Chartier: Absolutely. I lived a life that way of thinking positively, and I think that came into play. It's like the rug being taken out from underneath you. Mm-hmm. And learning how to get that positivity back. But I did work through it.

[00:21:53] Terry Oliver: And talking about positivity. When you were in the, uh, post-acute rehab facility recovering, you had a [00:22:00] positive interaction with a gummy bear, didn't you?

[00:22:02] John Chartier: I did.

[00:22:02] Terry Oliver: Can you tell us about that?

[00:22:04] John Chartier: I was really a big fan of gummy bears.

[00:22:07] Terry Oliver: Aren't we all?

[00:22:08] John Chartier: I always had a large stash of them in a drawer. One of the nights I was watching tv. I was eating some gummy bears and one of them fell out of my hand and hit the floor. Now I have no sensation of gripping object at all in my hands, even to this day.

Right before I went to sleep, I had forgot to tell my nursing assistant that had dropped on the floor. The interesting thing about that gummy bear was just one of those translucent gummies, right? Because of the tile that was on the floor. It really was kind of hard to see. Well, the next day, housekeeping, they came in to clean my room as they did every day.

After mopping when she had left the room. Mm-hmm. I started thinking about that stupid little gummy bear that fell on the floor. I don't know why, but I did. I looked around and I couldn't see [00:23:00] it. I thought it was gone. It was later in the day that I actually spotted it on the floor. Barely. Okay. I could see how when the mop hits that gummy bear and it gets wet, it really became translucent the next day.

Cleaning of my room happened again, and the gummy bear was gone again after she mopped. And then it reappeared again when it dried. And the funny part about that is it always moved, right? It was never in the same spot. It may sound ridiculous to you or your listeners, but it really became just a part of my entertainment.

[00:23:35] Terry Oliver: That's funny.

[00:23:36] John Chartier: And this actually went on for about a week. I shared my story with my wife and a nursing assistant, you know, right away they wanted to throw it away and I, I begged them. I said,

[00:23:46] Terry Oliver: please

[00:23:46] John Chartier: don't throw that away.

[00:23:48] Terry Oliver: No, you can't. You know,

[00:23:48] John Chartier: this is part of my entertainment. They laughed about it and they said, okay.

They left it.

[00:23:53] Terry Oliver: But

[00:23:54] John Chartier: there would be days I'd go to therapy, you know, before my room was cleaned, and I'd come back and I'd look around the [00:24:00] floor to see if I could see it. You know, I'm wheeling back in my wheelchair. Mm-hmm. One day the gummy bear actually made its way really close to the door going out of my room.

I was sitting in my wheelchair that day and I was listening to some music I was reading, and there was a woman that came in with her dog. She came in to visit. She worked with, you know, one of those organizations that, you know, they'd bring their dogs in just to visit patients, to brighten their day. And I loved dogs.

We had great conversations with this owner of the dog, and, and she would tell me about the things that these dogs would have to learn in order to visit a hospital, or, well, it was time for her to go, she had to move on that day, and she let her goodbyes and on the way out the door. Dog noticed bear, and would you believe it scooped it up in its mouth?

The owner said, drop that. Mm-hmm. And it dropped it right away. I mean, instantly it dropped it because, you know, it could have been medication, right? [00:25:00] Yeah. It's un harmful. So the dog owner picked up that gummy bear and she dropped it in the trash. And I just went, oh,

[00:25:07] Terry Oliver: on her way out,

[00:25:08] John Chartier: on her way. Yep. She picked it up and then dropped it in the trash can that was right there next to the door,

[00:25:14] Terry Oliver: and so it was gone.

[00:25:15] John Chartier: It was gone. You know, my mind exploded with this thought of game over and the real ironic part of the story, Terry. The dog's name was Bear. Really, it just makes it even funnier. And honestly, I felt really kind of disappointed, but fortunately, the story, it really doesn't end with that. Up until this point, there were only me, my wife, and the one nursing assistant that knew about the story, so I felt I needed to share it.

You know, as the old saying goes, news travels fast, right? And it really did. About the demise of my gummy bear the very next day I was returning to my room after therapy. Terry, I was greeted by these thumb sized gummy bears everywhere.

[00:25:59] Terry Oliver: Really? [00:26:00]

[00:26:00] John Chartier: They were lined up everywhere. They were on my headboard.

They were on my footboard. They were on the window sill. They were on the chair. They were scattered on the bed. And as I wheeled up closer to the bed, I saw that there was a note on my pillow and I grabbed the note and it says, we know what you did. And we are here for our friend.

[00:26:21] Terry Oliver: That's too much.

[00:26:23] John Chartier: Not only did it bring me laughter, but it just brought me joy enough to think that someone spent their own money just to make my day.

[00:26:31] Terry Oliver: Oh, I can well imagine. And that was, that was just one of a number of positive interactions you had with the staff there, wasn't it?

[00:26:38] John Chartier: It was, yeah.

[00:26:39] Terry Oliver: That's amazing. That's a great story.

Thanks for sharing it. Tell me about, because this is another great story, tell me about how you left the post-acute rehab facility when you were finally discharged, John.

[00:26:50] John Chartier: Terry, it's really important to know. The before was when I was wheeled into that facility. I looked at Rhonda and I told her, [00:27:00] I will walk out of here.

Honestly, I really had no idea if that would be possible. But I just felt that's what I had to work towards. I'm paraphrasing here, but my doctor at Metro Health, when I first went there, he had told me that if you work hard and have a good attitude. You never know what might happen.

[00:27:22] Terry Oliver: And you worked hard, didn't you?

[00:27:23] John Chartier: I absolutely did.

[00:27:25] Terry Oliver: Well, I remember you telling me about the amount of work that you put in, in therapy every day, and I just shook my head.

[00:27:30] John Chartier: It was just something that I felt that I did not want to leave anything out there if I, if I didn't try. Mm-hmm. Didn't try my hardest because. You never know what you can get back from a spinal cord injury.

And if you don't try, if you don't put in the efforts, then the outcome could be, you know, much less.

[00:27:50] Terry Oliver: Tell us how you left that facility then.

[00:27:52] John Chartier: I kept my promise, Terry, with the help of my wife. The day that we were going to leave, [00:28:00] I told my wife, I need you to grab my hand. We are going to walk out of here.

We were at my room and she was thinking we were going to go to the front of the building. I was going to walk out of the door. Mm-hmm. And then get in our vehicle. That was right there. I told her that no, we were going to walk right from that room.

[00:28:22] Terry Oliver: Really.

[00:28:22] John Chartier: I had a friend who was going to take my wheelchair home for me.

I asked him to come to my room and drive it out, and I was going to walk the hall all the way out. I have to tell you, as we walked down the hallway, there were staff members and they were clapping. They were clapping for me all the way. When I got to the foyer at the front, there were so many of them standing there.

They had balloons and cards and Oh, that's great. Oh, it was amazing. Just amazing.

[00:28:55] Terry Oliver: Good for them. And good for you. So you walked outta that facility?

[00:28:58] John Chartier: I did. I made that [00:29:00] promise. I kept it.

[00:29:01] Terry Oliver: And you walked right out of there into your car and into your future. Yes, I did. Yeah. I think that's a fantastic story.

Now, even with all of the support and good people around you, you still had more than your fair share of fear, didn't you? Are you okay to tell me about some of those fears?

[00:29:16] John Chartier: Yes, I sure did. Terry. One of the fears was, this was probably my biggest one. Is my wife going to leave me? Mm-hmm. I was really afraid because I'm thinking, why would she stay with me?

I'm just a person living in the shell of a body. Yes. That was a big fear, you know? It turned out to be that that was really a silly fear. Mm-hmm. For me, as my wife told me. But the second part was how will I support us? Mm-hmm. Now I am not able to work those thoughts. Just start rolling around your head. I let so much of that self doubt just creep in.

[00:29:53] Terry Oliver: John, I wanna go back to when you actually walked outta the hospital. If we could, most people think of a quadriplegic [00:30:00] that they have no movement from the neck down whatsoever, but in one of our conversations, you talked to me and you called yourself a walking quadriplegic. Can you explain that a little bit, please?

[00:30:10] John Chartier: You said it perfectly about quadriplegia, that all four of your limbs are affected. I still have quadriplegia. I have just able to walk not far or not well. Mm-hmm. But I can walk, sometimes I need the aid of a walker or. Cane, but there are other times I can walk from say, the bed to a chair or I can do those things.

So that's where the term walking quadriplegic comes from. There are others in this world.

I wouldn't say there's a lot.

[00:30:44] Terry Oliver: It gives you some movement. And I would think that, correct me if I'm wrong, John, but I would think that it would give you some semblance of empowerment as well, wouldn't it?

[00:30:53] John Chartier: Absolutely. And I don't take that for granted. Mm-hmm. Whatsoever. I feel very fortunate.

[00:30:58] Terry Oliver: Thanks for explaining that to [00:31:00] us. And now I want to ask you about your book. You're in the process of writing a book, aren't you?

[00:31:05] John Chartier: Yeah, I'm very excited to share that. I've actually completed it.

[00:31:09] Terry Oliver: You have fantastic.

When's the book gonna be published and what's the title of it?

[00:31:12] John Chartier: My intentions are to have it out by the end of March. The title is Embracing the Waves,

How I Survived Incomprehensible Loss and weLearn How to Live.

[00:31:23] Terry Oliver: Very good. Good for you. Now, you told me in one of our conversations that you would get emotional in writing the book.

Was that a positive emotion or a negative emotion for you?

[00:31:32] John Chartier: You know, I did get emotional, but it was truly a positive experience.

[00:31:36] Terry Oliver: Do you find that the telling of your story helps you and how does it help you?

[00:31:40] John Chartier: Well, my longtime friend, Jim Sinclair, she helped me write this book because when we started, the thought came while I was still in the hospital and I had no movement.

But when we started the book, when I was out of the hospital, I still had very little hand or arm function, and it's worth noting that. [00:32:00] A psychologist and she specializes in ptsd. So she knew most of my life stories as we progressed us building this book, somehow that dug up some wounds and I really had no idea that they were there.

Because I had told these stories, many, many times through the years. The book I'm writing is actually a memoir. So much to this book that she knew about, and I had no problem telling these stories, but writing it and us talking through some things, I had no idea that those scars were there.

My emotions actually poured out. The first time I read First draft, I really was emotional.

[00:32:42] Terry Oliver: Oh, I can imagine.

[00:32:43] John Chartier: But I have to tell you, it was very therapeutic writing this.

[00:32:46] Terry Oliver: Well, that's what the consensus is among the guests who we've had on the podcast who have gone through a traumatic incident, is that the telling of their story is therapeutic for them and actually helps them.

And it not only helps them, but [00:33:00] it helps the listener of the story too. Tell me how you came about deciding on your purpose in life and what that purpose is. Please, John.

[00:33:07] John Chartier: Lying in a hospital bed, when you have no movement, it's really very difficult contemplating anything about your future. You know, I didn't see it right away, but it happened while I was at Metro Health, the rehab hospital.

I was given opportunities, talk with other patients. Which slowly gave me a sense of purpose. The nurses there saw something in me and my attitude, how I was talking with other people, you know, I tried to find joy. Mm-hmm. Tried to find humor. They started seeing that and they started asking me, would you go and talk to this patient in this room who I'd never saw?

Didn't know. Would you talk to them? They're really. I loved it. Yeah. I just, I felt so fortunate that I was that person, you know, loved helping people anyway before my injury. Mm-hmm. [00:34:00] Then contemplating, you know, how could I do anything with paralysis? You know, what can I do? I typically love to be around people and love talking, so I didn't really realize that was gonna be my purpose, but it really is my purpose in life now, Terry,

[00:34:15] Terry Oliver: uh, you started to speak about your experience at a number of functions.

Can you tell us some of the places that you've spoken at?

[00:34:21] John Chartier: I started speaking at elementary schools, rehab facilities, hospitals, churches. I did celebrate recovery talk. I presented at colleges to students that are becoming physical therapists, and I even had a keynote speaking engagement for corporations and now I can add podcasts.

[00:34:42] Terry Oliver: Yes, you can. That's great. Out of all those talks that you've done and are doing, what's the hardest talk that you've done so far?

[00:34:49] John Chartier: You're gonna think this is really funny. It was to third graders at an elementary school.

[00:34:55] Terry Oliver: Now, was that the first talk you ever did?

[00:34:57] John Chartier: That was,

[00:34:57] Terry Oliver: it's always the first talk. That's the worst.

[00:34:59] John Chartier: Our [00:35:00] friend, hope Morrison, she is a teacher at an elementary school that was two blocks away from the rehab facility that I was in. She had asked me if I would speak for a program that teaches children about disability awareness. Mm-hmm. I said, sure. How hard could that be? Well, she set this up with this wonderful teacher, her name's Marla Sicily, and that day of the Talk Hope came over and walked with me alongside as I drove my wheelchair to the school where I met Marla and the second speaker.

The second speaker was this young lady, Megan, who is a person with high functioning Down syndrome because she talked before me, and I have to say, I was just blown away. She was talking about these incredible accomplishments and really presenting to the kids her amazing life. Not because of the disability, but rather through all of her abilities.

She really taught me that day that I need to be prepared to present to an audience. I surely [00:36:00] wasn't that day. I had no idea what I was getting into. I thank Megan and Hope Morrison for helping me give me my start in telling my story.

[00:36:09] Terry Oliver: That's fantastic.

[00:36:10] John Chartier: I do have to tell you, Terry, that is something that for me, I was just terrified of public speaking.

But since this has happened, anytime someone asks, I haven't been able to say no. You know, I think when you really become passionate about what you're talking about, I really believe that, you know, if you believe in it, your message becomes easier to say.

[00:36:33] Terry Oliver: That's a good indication that you're on your true path and that you found your.

Tell me what's the most memorable and rewarding talk that you've done?

[00:36:40] John Chartier: There is the one that really sticks out. When I was asked to be a motivational speaker for that corporation, they were doing an employee recognition banquet. Somebody had heard me speak before, so they wanted me to come in and be a motivational speaker for all these employees.

So I asked how long they wanted me to speak, and the woman said an [00:37:00] hour. Right. At that point I thought excuse me. Did you say an hour? Right. She said, you know, if it's 45 minutes, they're good with that too. This was the longest talk I have ever done. I said, well, how many should I prepare for? She said, five to 700 people.

Really? What a start contrast from my first engagement with this one, and it really, really went well.

[00:37:23] Terry Oliver: Oh, I know it did. Now, to our listeners, John sent me a copy of this talk to watch, and it was very, very good. John's relaxed and he's funny, and it looks like you've really found your element.

[00:37:36] John Chartier: Well, I appreciate you saying that, Terry.

I, I was nervous going into it. I'm sure as most people are, again, telling my story to such an incredible audience, and I really did prepare. I had, I think it was four months to prepare for this. Mm-hmm. I do like to add humor. I feel we do need humor in our lives, and that helped me. Trying to find the humor in it really [00:38:00] helped doing speaking engagements like that.

[00:38:02] Terry Oliver: Well, I'm telling you, you nailed it. You really nailed it. Thank you. Now, before we go on, can you tell me what your life was like before the accident and what your life is like now?

[00:38:11] John Chartier: Well, my life before my injury was filled with work really into sports, going to concerts, my wife and I were really into biking.

[00:38:19] Terry Oliver: Nice.

[00:38:20] John Chartier: We like to do some traveling, living life to its fullest. Terry. And after my injury, I feel I'm still living life to the fullest, but now it's more purposeful. Jerry, I can tell you by just living my life purposefully, there just seems to be a deeper connection to everything. Mm-hmm. Everything that I do.

Yes, and this may sound crazy, but I really feel more alive now than I did before. My life is much harder. I really feel alive.

[00:38:48] Terry Oliver: No, it doesn't sound crazy at all. I understand that totally.

[00:38:52] John Chartier: I just think that sometimes in life we're like this machine, you get up, you go to work, you come home, you might play, you might [00:39:00] watch tv, eat dinner.

You go to bed and you're doing the same thing every day. I was full of life, but I just feel this deeper connection.

[00:39:08] Terry Oliver: Now I know you've got a great support system, but who's been your biggest supporter throughout all of this?

[00:39:14] John Chartier: No hesitation. My wife, Rhonda.

[00:39:17] Terry Oliver: Fantastic. And how long have you guys been married for now

[00:39:20] John Chartier: it will be 38 years.

This coming May.

[00:39:22] Terry Oliver: Congratulations. Well, you know, we're not gonna go into too much detail about John's wife, Rhonda, on this podcast because we're actually gonna do an episode with Rhonda about her experience as a caregiver, a wife, a friend, and as being a huge part of John's support system in his recovery.

Now back to that video, John, I remember you talking in the video about the number of people who sustained spinal cord injuries per year, and what is that number?

[00:39:49] John Chartier: In 2013 when I sustained my spinal cord injury, the World Health Organization had reported then that between [00:40:00] 250,000 to 500,000 people a year stain a spinal cord injury.

[00:40:04] Terry Oliver: That's phenomenal.

[00:40:05] John Chartier: Just astounding.

[00:40:06] Terry Oliver: Now, we've talked about your book that's coming out in March. What do you do now to fulfill what you've discovered as your purpose in life?

[00:40:13] John Chartier: Well, I volunteer for the Christopher and Dana Ree Foundation with their peer and family support program. So I'm a mentor to those who have suffered spinal cord injuries, or I can support those who may be caregivers as well.

[00:40:27] Terry Oliver: Oh, good.

[00:40:28] John Chartier: It's really impacting lives. Terry, just sharing your experiences and the re foundation's resources, it's really impacted me. By me giving back, I really, really find joy in knowing that I can help in any way possible.

[00:40:43] Terry Oliver: Why did you decide to do this?

[00:40:44] John Chartier: While I was still in the hospital, you know, I saw those who had no support systems that really affected me.

You know, it made me realize that not everyone is as fortunate as I'm, well, a few years later, there was this opportunity that came to be [00:41:00] trained as a mentor for the Christopher and Dana Reed Foundation. You actually have to be trained. You have to go through training sessions. This was done through the spinal cord chapter that I belong to, which is the United Spinal Association of Northeast Ohio.

It's a great chapter that helps people get back out into the world doing things. You know, they give out concert tickets, baseball tickets. Uh, they have outings. They brought in a representative from the re foundation to train. Rhonda and I both went through that training and we were the first ones trained in the state of Ohio.

[00:41:38] Terry Oliver: John, I'd like you to talk about the importance of attitude in your recovery. Can you tell us about how you came to the attitude that you've got in your life right now, and then if you could tell us what that attitude actually is, please.

[00:41:49] John Chartier: I've always tried to maintain a good attitude, but there is no doubt that that can be a struggle at times.

Yes. I do believe, Terry, that our attitude is really essential to [00:42:00] recovery. What I felt was, when so much is done for me, how can I not have a better attitude? The thankful attitude, thankful for what they're doing. I remind myself every day that I need to be thankful, and if it's okay with you, you know, I'd like to share something that I found early on in my recovery.

[00:42:19] Terry Oliver: Absolutely, please.

[00:42:20] John Chartier: I want you to know that I recite this at most of my presentation. It's a poem by a famous author. His name is Charles Swindoll, and this poem is called Attitude. And he says, the longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life attitude. To me, more important than that, more important than the past and the education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes.

And what other people think they or do is more important that it appearance, giftedness, or skill, it will make or break [00:43:00] a company, a church, a home. And the remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our path. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way and we cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I'm convinced. He says that life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you. We are in charge of our attitudes. Powerful word.

[00:43:38] Terry Oliver: Fantastic.

[00:43:39] John Chartier: You know, I just found this poem to be so profound.

You know, I'm not perfect at this by any means, but if I can remind myself when my attitude is off that I need to check it.

This world is not about me, about all of us.

[00:43:53] Terry Oliver: Well, you know what? In our conversations, that's one of the things that stands out about you to me, is your attitude. And [00:44:00] thank you for that.

Thank you for our conversations and thank you for sharing that, uh, poem with us. Appreciate it. Now I like books and others like visuals. Others like apps. Do you have any favorite books or videos or apps that have helped you survive and thrive after your incident?

[00:44:16] John Chartier: One of my favorite authors is Mitch album.

[00:44:18] Terry Oliver: Yes. Is that, uh, Tuesday with Maury?

[00:44:21] John Chartier: Yep. Five people you meet in heaven? Yes. One of my favorites is for one more day.

He has written so many books and I think why I had such a connection to him, I lived in, uh, Michigan. Mitch El was a sportscaster on, on a radio station, so I listened to him for years when I would drive home.

And then when I read that first book, Tuesdays with Maury, I just loved his writing like it spoke to me. There's another book that I think really has impacted me, and it's the book 10% Happier. It's by Dan Harris. It's funny, he really gets into the back of meditation. [00:45:00] Mm-hmm. And since I read that book and I started meditating, I really can see the benefits of it for anxiety or anger, just mindfulness.

You know, I like to be inspired. Hence why I'm fortunate that I found your podcast, and I'm fortunate that I've been able to talk to you because I love to be inspired.

[00:45:20] Terry Oliver: Well, your story's going to be inspiring for sure. That's my hope. John, any final words of advice for our listeners that can help them get through their own struggles?

What would you tell someone who's having a hard time right now, and there's a lot of people out there who are having a hard time right now.

[00:45:35] John Chartier: What I would say to everyone listening is that there can be light after the darkness and living proof. We all need each other. Get through the worst of times and the best of times.

I would just urge anyone that is struggling to just reach out for help, no matter your situation. Don't be too proud to ask for help. There's so many organizations and people who wanna help and [00:46:00] that's what they're there for.

[00:46:01] Terry Oliver: Perfect. Thank you. Thank you very much, John. It was quite the conversation. Thank you, John, for spending your time with us today.

I've learned a lot about you over the past few weeks and about what you've gone through now to our listeners. When I started this podcast, I thought I might have trouble finding people who'd gone through hard times and wanted to tell their stories, but I tell you, such has not been the case. What I'm finding is that people want to tell their story.

We've started to change as a culture. We're not all the way there yet, but we started to change in that. Now people are more comfortable telling others about the struggles that they've had in their lives. A number of our past guests have said that the telling of your story is extremely healing for the person telling the story, and extremely helpful for the person hearing the story.

Now I know why it's helpful to the person hearing the story. One of the reasons is that they can hear that they're not the only one going through struggles and challenges. And John, I'd like to get one final thought from you before we [00:47:00] let you go. What do you think are the benefits of the person telling their story?

[00:47:04] John Chartier: Well, I have to echo exactly what you said, that it's absolutely freeing and healing to share. And I think through the telling of our stories, that we can see that there's hope. I also think it's lets the listeners know that they are not alone, just like you said. And that there is help out there.

People have to choose to take that help.

[00:47:24] Terry Oliver: Absolutely. Well, thank you for sharing your story with me today and with our listeners. And if someone wants to reach out to you to talk or to engage you as a mentor through the Christopher and Dana Ree Foundation, what's the best way for them to get in touch with you?

[00:47:38] John Chartier: Get in touch@christopherre.org there. Once on that website, they can find a multitude of resources that are absolutely free, such as the Peer and Family Support Program. They can request a mentor, so what the organization tries to do is they find the best fit for them, or you can just ask for [00:48:00] me.

[00:48:00] Terry Oliver: Okay.

[00:48:01] John Chartier: I would be more than happy for that opportunity.

[00:48:03] Terry Oliver: Wonderful. That's great. If you're listening to this podcast, feel free to share it with your family and friends either directly or on your social media, because the more people hear about how others have survived or are recovering, the more that they're helped as well. So thank you so much, John. I hope that you and your family stay safe through COVID and that I get the chance to meet with you and Rhonda and your family in person one day.

[00:48:28] John Chartier: I need to thank you, Terry, for having me on to allow me to tell my story, and I'm really hoping that that was inspiring for someone possibly to look at their life and say, I need to get some help. I heard that there's help out there for me. Because there definitely is. There are people that want to reach out to you, so I appreciate your podcast.

I look forward to all of them that are coming up. I will keep spreading the news of your podcast. It's inspiring [00:49:00] to others as well. I have a cousin in Australia that is now listening. It's in Texas. It's in Florida, it's in Michigan. You keep spreading. I'll keep spreading. And together, like you said, we're gonna build this community to help others.

[00:49:17] Terry Oliver: Thank you, John. Thanks for finding us and thanks for reaching out to us and I'm sure your story is going to be inspirational too, a number of people who listen to it. Thank you. Thank you all for joining us on this episode of the Courage Wolf podcast. I value your time and I thank you for taking the time to listen.

Please be sure to listen to the Thursday episode called Coffee with the Courage Wolf. Where I discuss some of the things we talked about today. If you have any questions that you'd like to ask for that podcast or to ask John Chartier specifically, send them to me atTerry@thecouragewolf.com. That's TERR y@thecouragewolf.com.

Be sure to visit our website@thecouragewolf.com and sign up for our email [00:50:00] list and get involved with our community. We're building a community that will help a lot of people in the long run. We're all here for each other. Together is better. So join the pack. Brothers and sisters, this is Terry Oliver signing off until Thursday.

Thank you for joining us on this episode of the Courage Wolf podcast. For more stories of courage and inspiration, subscribe and listen to us every week. Be sure to head on over to the courage wolf.com to join our Facebook group. Sign up for our email list and find more information and resources to help you feed your own courage wolf.